Join the link here http://blueeyedbride.com/
I jumped on 385 Friday afternoon and immediately felt a welcomed exhale. This was a familiar drive. One of my favorites actually. Seeing the first glimpse of the Blue Ridge over the toll road has made me feel like home for years now. It's not home, but it was at one time and it is a sweet reminder of a different season. A season where I met my husband, where friendships grew and hard lessons were learned. Looking back it was a carefree season, though I would have protested greatly if you had tried to tell me that then. Sure it was filled with its struggles and heartaches and ridiculously early mornings, but it was also full of freedom and opportunity. As I drove in a quiet car with no car seat and no Elmo song in my head I tried to remember how to function as "me". Not just mom or wife or keeper of the house. While I am all of those things, and incredibly thankful to be them, it almost felt foreign to just be me. The time and energy and struggle that goes into the mom and wife role is incredible. It should be. I believe it is the greatest thing I will ever do. These things are lasting. You are making eternal investments. We are called to do it well. It is a joy and a fight all at the same time. So to just be "you" - without planning meals, or watching receipts or refereeing at the park, feels like it has to be relearned. Did I really used to just jump in and out of the car with just a purse on my shoulder? I can plan a lunch date right in the middle of nap time? For the first 30 minutes I beat myself up for feeling excited about the free weekend, for a long shower and uninterrupted meals. But maybe a break is part of doing it well. I heard my mom's voice reminding me "this time is good, it makes you a better mother, its okay to relax". If you know my mom she is hands down the best mother in the world. Her "patience bucket" as she used to call it is actually unending (even though she used to tell us it sometimes had a hole in it). She is purposeful and diligent and giving. So if she said its okay, it must be okay. And the reality is, its more than okay, its good. Its vital. I started thinking about how I would describe myself outside of my roles as wife and mom. That girl was who my husband fell in love with. That girl is who the Lord chose to be Emerson's mother. It's important to not forget her. Each new role refines and changes us. I would like to think I am learning from every experience and allowing the Lord to mold me. And I am so thankful for that. I hope and pray that I am not the same person 10 years from now. Growth is good. But at the same time being "you" is good too. Taking time to remember what that feels like is good. Its good for you, good for your husband, and good for your children. So go enjoy a day, a night, or even a weekend. Come back recharged and renewed and ready to love on your family. And don't have an ounce of guilt about it. There will be plenty of puffs to eat and books to read when you get home. :)
